In last week’s Piece Talks, I mentioned three kinds of actions we can take that will generate a feeling and experience of having confidence.
The first action is choosing self-affirming thoughts. Sometimes this can seem easy, and at other times this can occur as being hard. What makes it easier is choosing positive thoughts you can believe. For example, if you want more confidence in how you feel about your body, but you’ve been having a lot of judgments about your body, affirming “I have the greatest body, and I love it so much!” might not be believable to you. Instead, you might affirm something like, “I appreciate my body and how hard it works for me. I’m beginning to see how wonderful it really is. I am allowing myself to feel good in my body now. It’s okay to feel good in my body right now.”
Here’s another example: You’re thinking about advancing in your career, but you have some doubts and negative self-talk about it. Sometimes thinking “I can do it” just doesn’t cut it. That’s most likely because you have some reasons or underlying beliefs about why you might fail. A more believable affirming line of thinking could be, “I’m letting go of my limiting beliefs in this situation. And, I’m going to give this my best shot. If this doesn’t work out, I know that something better is on the horizon. I’m enjoying pursuing this opportunity!”
The next action is TRUSTING YOUR ABILITIES. Yes, that’s right! You have been naturally born with certain abilities, and there are others you may have to work on developing. Either way, you have them, so use them with a sense of certainty that you know what you possess. When you trust your abilities, you can experience a beautiful, fulfilling feeling of confidence while you’re “in the flow” and knowing that you are capable.
The final action I talk about in last week’s Piece Talks can sometimes seem the scariest, yet it’s often the most rewarding. Have you ever been afraid to do something, but you did it anyway? And, after you did it, you felt AMAZING?? Well, after your heart stopped pounding, lol! In this case, confidence is produced as a result of taking an action that is beyond your comfort zone.
This type of confidence can be experienced in any area of your life. You might be afraid to put on that bathing suit and be seen at the beach. You might be afraid to tell someone how you really feel. Or, you might be afraid to give a presentation for a group of people at work. Yet, when you “feel the fear, and do it anyway” it creates a “breakthrough” in how you see yourself, a breakthrough in how you experience yourself. And, you get to know yourself as someone who “can.”
Confidence is a feeling that we experience after we take an action that allows us to experience ourselves as “confident.” These three kinds of actions I’ve described can generate such feelings of confidence.
It’s important to know that confidence is also a “way of being” that we can choose ahead of time. It is us choosing “how we will BE” while we’re doing something. And, we choose it before we do it. I frequently practice this whenever I’m going to speak in front of people. Whether it be a small or larger group, I tend to have anxiety, sometimes to the point where I can feel my body shaking. It’s not very pleasant. However, I “coach” myself before I begin speaking. I say to myself, “I am confident, poised, and articulate.” I choose that that’s how I’ll be. I may be shaking like a leaf all the way up to the microphone, but when I begin speaking, I can feel myself move into the confidence that I’ve decided upon. And, I also get that extra boost of confidence when I’m finished, knowing that I didn’t let fear stop me.
With much love,